Heckity Bickity

If you guessed that the title of today's post comes from my special language, you are correct.  I feel that heckity bickity needs no specific definition, but just in case, it's what one says when things do not work out the way you want.  Have a weird recurring rash on your elbow?  Heckity bickity!  Dropped an egg on the floor?  Heckity Bickity!  Have the bluebird of happiness take a dump on your windshield?  HECKITY BICKITY!

There, you see?  You have the right idea.

So what's heckin' and bickin' me this time?  Well, *sigh* there are a few things.  Adam sent us a bunch of information about some land we wanted to see.  Some was about the land here in Santee on Summit Crest Dr.  The information did not include some specific things I'd asked for, like the combination to the lock on the gate.  But it did include a large file full of useful information about the property, like the fact that the road up to it is at 21 degree incline.  That is why we need the code to the gate!!!  Climbing that is just out!  Remember?  Mountain goats we ain't!  

The packet also included a really in depth look at why the current owners of that land couldn't do what they wanted, which was to build an off grid home on the property.  It's complex and largely had to do with the Fire Marshal again.  The road is too steep, has too many switchbacks that would require widening of the road, etc.  But there are other issues too.  

One is the California Gnatcatcher.

Cute little birdie, inn'it?

There's some question about if this bird is or is not endangered and if messing with that land will further endanger it.  Apparently the controversy has to do with the fact that our numbers for this bird only include birds in the U.S. and they primarily live in Baja CA (which is part of Mexico) so of course our numbers are low...?  Also, there's a contention that numbers of them have actually grown with more land development.  The writers of the document seem to think that that means the Gnatcatcher likes development.  I think the writers are scientifically challenged and need to learn the usage of the term spurious, but without actual evidence one way or another, the best we can say is -it's an issue with building on the land.

And then there's an issue with the endangerment of coastal sage scrub, which is the stuff Chris and I have been wading through up to our chinny-chin-chins for the last several months.  Apparently in CA and the U.N. there are guidelines about how much land has to be set aside based on how much you build in a 2:1 ratio.  Interestingly, the land has to be set aside on adjacent hilltops and I have zero ideas about how a homebuilder can do that.  Do you have to buy twice the footprint of your home on another parcel?  This makes little sense to me.

Then there's an issue with the road to the property not being paved all the way.  Apparently the last 380 meters of it are rough dirt.  They say most cars can make it, but if you want a flatbed to get there?  Maybe not so much.  The current owners bought two easements to build a road that's less steep and a lot less shitty, which is great.  But the actual road needs to be built, which is most likely a heckin' ton of money.  

For those of you who don't know (because I didn't before all this), an easement is someone else's land that you buy access on to build a road in order to access your property.  So, landlocked properties need to buy easements from neighboring properties so that land can be accessed.  At least, that's how I understand it.

And then they also mention that you have to create a firebreak on the property... which only makes sense.  In fact, all of these issues are easily things we'd face with other properties.  And creating and maintaining a firebreak on a 10 acre property is one thing, but on Beaver Hollow Rd?  That's 35 acres.  I can't even imagine! We're going to need a herd of goats!

Oh, and the property kinda' needs a well.  They mentioned that there might be an aquifer 100' (30.5m) down through the "coarse cobbles and cemented sandstone."  Idk if that's a bad thing or not... But they also said that better water likely lies 3-400' down.  *sigh*

Can I tell you how little I want to deal with any of these things?  It makes sense that the owners of the Summit Crest property want $150K for it, but that really depletes anything extra we'd have.  And if we got a loan?  Say a land lot loan?  Maybe... it's just that then we'd be paying the loan and our rent and there's little telling how long it would take to sort out these issues!  Heckity bickity!

Our idea of buying a home on enough land to build is actually better for this issue.  We could live there while we sorted out the issues with building more on the property.  If we just got land, we couldn't even build a big enough structure to house us and the dog to wait out the permitting issues.  We'd need to keep renting and paying the loan off at the same time.

Friday afternoon we decided to execute our plan of trying to find the back way to the Beaver Hollow Rd property.  We're still into the land, but that road... I'd love to ask those neighbors how they managed to build, what with the fire truck access issues and such.  Who really knows?  If we're ever there, I'll leave a nice note in their mailbox asking if they'll talk about it.  But in the meantime, we set off for Jamul.

At the light just outside our home I discovered that I needed the pee.  Yes, I'd just gone, but I needed to again.  I trusted myself enough to not pee in the car that we kept on going.

The road was mostly quite decent on the backwards approach.  Even the dirt road we traveled was wide and only had just an inkling of washboard.  I realize dirt roads change readily with weather but we have little weather here.  

Handily, Chris had discovered that there was a gate to access the back way to the properties, so we were prepared for a bit of a walk.  We pulled off here at the gate.

We got our water from the car, the dog, and I snuck out the napkins I'd collected in 2365 White Wing Dr and Escondido Double Defeat.  We started on the paved, though not so great, road.  Our first disinclination was that the road past the gate is really narrow.  Having forgotten a measuring tape, I walked out the distance.  In one narrow bit, the distance side to side was just a little over 9' (2.8 meters).  A quick Google search and... most fire trucks or fire engines are over 10' wide (3 meters).  Who knows how much room they think they need; but it seems to me that if the road curves at all (and this one does), and one side is off the edge of a cliff (and this one is), then it's an automatic ixnay on the iretruckfay. 

The road was however, nice for walking up.  Shady in parts, which was a nice break (yes, January in CA is still hot) and not too steep.

But quite narrow

Around this time the dog dropped a deuce.  I told Chris to "leave the bag open" after he picked it up.  He looked at me funny, put the bag down (we'd pick it up again on the way back) and I *achem* utilized the paper napkins I'd brought with me (and stuffed them in the bag).

So, there are actually two properties for sale off Beaver Hollow Rd.  This way we were traversing gave us a view of the second.  It's largely valley without much flat area.  And to the south is the mountain.  I think Chris was hoping for a miracle property but this wasn't it.

So pretty though, right?

There was a second gate which we walked past long enough to be well assured that no, a firetruck -and therefore a flatbed truck with building supplies- was not going to make it along that road.  Heckity bickity!

We trudged down the hill to the car, picking up the poo on the way.  At the bottom we stopped and listened to the blissful nothing.  Slight stirrings of wind in leaves.  Birds saying things our ears will never understand.  I felt my jaw relax, my ears fall ever so slightly downwards.  This is what we want.

But it's not likely to be possible at this time, on this land, with our income.

On the way home we tried on different possibilities, things we could do to try to further our dream.  Would a wildlife reserve let us build a home if we let them show it off to people (and all its earth savvy systems)?  What about buying just a regular home with the intent to sell it when we figure out how to get land?  Are there any regular homes we can even afford?  Probably not.

The whole point of this idea we had was that it's so much more affordable than buying a regular house.  Well, that and we like these and they are better for the planet.  But the expense isn't the home at all.  It's the land and the permitting issues.  When I moved out of my childhood homes, I rented apartments.  It seemed like that was what you were supposed to do.  Rent until you know what you want.  When a metamour in their 20s announced they were buying a home, I was skeptical.  Isn't that the wrong way to do it?  Aren't you supposed to live through the hell of renting for years?  But I think they may have been onto the newer, better way.  Many mortgage payments are lower than renting.  And you build credit along the way (hopefully good credit).  But then... you have to have a lot of money to back you up incase the water heater blows up.  

It would almost be easier if we had fewer options.  It would definitely be easier if we had more money!